An open letter to her.

Ps : The below letter is a cheesy piece of work. You can choose to stay away if you don\’t like to read. I am publishing it for the world to know about my revival and the soul behind it.

Dear YOU,

There is nothing else than an insult from a person whom you love so much which will hamper self confidence to the such a level you just don\’t feel like going out of your bedroom. Hugging pillows, under the blanket I have stayed for days without knowing what to do. My dreams were shattering in front of me. Everytime I tried to wake up and start running, trying to prove myself I failed more miserably. Friends backed me as much as they can but the inner me still couldn\’t do it. The good news were a scarce resource.

New year begun.

Everything was going the same way until May when a phone call almost changed a life. In the train journey followed, I sat and thought about whom should I share this news first with. I had so many options but I wanted to share it someone to whom I am a first priority in their life. I could only find one. You.

But when I rung you up to tell you the good news in my life, it made me feel a bit uncomfortable because all these while I have been ignoring you.

Cut to.

Now. Today.

19th November 2016. 11pm (while I type this)

I am not as confident as I was before 2015 but I am not as under confident as I was few months back. Being three years younger to me helped me share with you each and every single thing in my mind. Sometimes I wondered whether you will understand the problem of a struggling 22year old with big mad dreams. Sometimes I wondered whether you will cop up with my dream. But none of this mattered. You had a solution to every problem. You believed in it. Your theories of life influenced me and made me a better human being. If I am right now thinking of something positive, its half because of you, quarter because of my friends and another quarter, well my mindset!

You hardly care about my past. I don\’t remember a single time you have asked me anything about it. Whenever I tell something about it, you just let it go. You understood me when I went to meet that person from my past. You never complained about it. You didn\’t complain three nights back when I couldn\’t text you for a long time. You don\’t bat your eyes when I am on another call or I am posting a picture with a female friend. You just let me be myself.  You listen to all my stories. You listen to all my worries. You listen to all my friendship stories. May be the long list of friends make it hard for you to remember, but you don\’t complain. When I wake up for you in the morning, it doesn\’t give me a headache later in the day. It just makes my day so long. When you stayed up for me that night till 2am until I got a bus, you made me feel worth so much.

You make me do something which I have stopped 10-12 years ago. Singing. I am a shit singer but you make me sing for you. It feels so special to be loved at something I am so bad at! 😉😉

The past has made me feel shit about myself. But you are slowing wiping everything off.

You are bringing back the old me. The cheesy me. The hyper me. The talkative me. The friendly me.

You are doing much more than all these to me but I cannot put everything into words.

In short,

You picked up the dead pieces and gave it a life.

Yours lovingly, Your own man.