Im-maturity

The word maturity was heard first when it was time for me to start my college life. When my parents and grandparents were completely fine with me leaving to Chennai at the age of 17, my distant relatives and neighbors raised their eyebrows which neither my family nor me cared about. But when I look back, what surprised me is that I don\’t know why I decided to leave Trivandrum and go to an unknown place. I don\’t know from where I got the courage to do that. Four years later, today, when I look back, that is a moment which I really cherish about because Chennai life has molded me into an entirely different, definitely better, person. All through the four months in Mumbai, my faculties and batch mates were surprised with me saying I don\’t talk like a 20 year old but more than that. Well, it didn\’t feel good to be \’older than age\’ but it felt warm to be considered matured. My friends who read this will be laughing at this thought of me being matured. Okay, let me admit. I am kiddish!

So, I was talking to a long lost best friend some days back and I could really sense a lot of changes in the way we talk now. There was a time in our lives at the beginning of our college lives when we used to text each other – Yes, there was an age before whatsapp – for hours without no particular topic. We used to have long phone calls without talking anything serious but just this and that. But now a days we hardly talk and today when she asked me \”hows life and everything\”, I felt totally strange. True, we haven\’t spoken much of late and we still share the same bond but seriously, how is life? In split of a second, I realized I asked her the same question back. After the chat, out of eagerness, I scrolled up my Facebook chat up to two years back and I was shocked with the way we were talking. It felt so different. Its the same thing which is happening with my college group in whatsapp as well. During the college days, messages used to jump out of everywhere but now everyone is in different parts of India and one outside. Let me say this to my juniors, enjoy your college life. Fights and arguments are just a part of it. Don\’t let it affect your presence in the college much because one day you might regret for missing out some days.

 As life progress, people grow up both mentally and physically. They get engaged in something or the other and gain experience from it. Last month, I wrote an article on how important experience is but I missed out one point. Experience brings you maturity. I have heard people say \”I want to be matured\” or \”I am going to be matured from now on\”. This is one of the biggest jokes, trust me. Maturity is not something you can buy from a shop. You cant get matured from an auspicious time either. Of course, physically you can but I am talking about the mental state. Maturity is a slow process. People say it happens automatically but I think it needs your conscious consent too. You need to have a mind that will learn and study from situations. You need to have a good observation skill. This is not automatic, you need to have it! That is why, even at 40 some are kiddish and at 14 some are over matured.

Imagine you are a boy who is quite good in English language and your girlfriend ain\’t that good but she can manage. There aren\’t any other common languages between you both. Sometimes you find it extremely difficult to understand what your girlfriend means. But you are scared to tell that because no girl likes to hear \”I didn\’t understand what you said\”. It hurts their ego and the next sentence would be \”You have stopped understanding me\”. This doesn\’t really mean the girl is not matured enough to understand that she is not good in English. Its just the expectation that her partner understands her better. Having said that, if the girl gets mad over this small thing and chuck out what she said, then you aren\’t at fault. Its her maturity which is on display. I know this was a complicated example but I can only cite from my experiences.

Don\’t be sad if you aren\’t matured. Just enjoy being the kid. Don\’t be sad if you are over matured either, just enjoy being smarter.  😉